Third wheel: how to return being from the rival
Globally, appearance of the new man in the girl whom you would like to return, a bad event. But it is not doomsday. It is possible to win the ex-girlfriend even in this situation, the main thing, is correct to work.
You know what greatest fear eats a brain of 90% of my clients who endure crisis in the relations? Most of all, the man is afraid that as soon as he turns away, he from round the corner right there will jump out malicious “Jack” and will begin to have love affairs with his girl completely. Now present to what scales this fear after the quarrel, and, especially, after parting grows. Because of it the average guy, trying to return the girl, also does a heap of mistakes. It seems to him that time draws in, and on correction of a situation he has few hours. Otherwise on the horizon of his darling the new man right there materializes, she smartly will jump to him in embraces, and then, really, all will be lost. And these couple of days after parting the abandoned guy manages to lard hysterical entreaties, tears, promises, gifts, self-humiliation so that in a week, the girl is finally convinced that she has dumped from such psychopath perfectly. Actually, the girl needs a lot of time to find the qualitative man for the relations. The dude on disposable sex can be found, of course, at once, but very few people from girls are seduced by such prospect. The woman and the prior counts on the long relations. And even, if a minute of grief also her on single sex, she will be silent about it as fish. This event for her not a feat, but a situation about which she will try to forget somewhat quicker. And the man, as a rule, is afraid more, not a casual petty intrigue of the woman, and her serious novel. I hurry to calm – the serious relations for one night aren’t. To meet the normal man the girl on average needs half a year. And, even, if around her the colleague who still densely sat in the friend zone begins to curl, and she doesn’t object, most likely, this is just the gentleman. She accepts his courtings for feed of the self-assessment, no more. So within the first two-three months after parting you are in safety. An exception of the rule – a situation when the affair with another was in its height even before your parting. Then it is other case – the girl was just convinced that she with the second man her better and has waved to you with the handle. But now not about replacement of players and not about a situation when behind each corner her potential lover seems to you. Give about when after your parting the rival nevertheless has appeared, and she has begun to build with him the relations.
If there are real facts which indicate presence of other man, it, of course, a minor event, but it doesn’t change the strategy of return but only it is banal complicates a task. And still some nuances are.
Define whether the affair with the new man is the relations “on a rebound”.
“On a rebound” is when the girl leaves to another not because it cool but because he your complete antithesis. Has got jealousy – leaves to the indifferent Buddhist. If you were soft, constantly asked her council – leaves to a brutal which a cudgel on the head and in a cave. How to understand that it the relations “on a rebound”? If externally the rival – your complete antithesis, it very much looks like a rebound. And in this case motive of such relations – “if only not such as was”. The side effect – the girl doesn’t think, the new man is how good. And in few months finds, as here cracking not less. The relations “on a rebound” seldom happen durable – usually it lasts 2-6 months. When the girl is convinced that this man doesn’t suit her, she will leave. But until they have relations, it is better not to be put there. The sharp movements, you will achieve that she will compare the new dude to you (and on his party novelty, interest and lack of chronic jambs), and once again will cross that has changed you for another. And you will achieve only that their relations will drag on. Spend better this time for self-development and an exception of those factors which have caused parting.
Don’t start “man-to-man talk with the rival”.
It is biggest bug of all ex-boyfriends – to talk to the new man of the darling. And “to talk” varies from requests and moaning to leave the girl alone to a classical fight. For some reason the logic of the obscured reason is as follows: it is a reptile, the rival has taken away it, a poor naive lamb. It is necessary in any ways to eliminate him, and she will return again. Similar tactics it is made it is useless. Even if you will eliminate the opponent – morally or physically – she won’t return to you, and will find the third. So stupidly wait while they have this itself will resolve. At this time watch her social networks to understand where at them everything goes. As a rule, according to the statuses, the photo, to the general mood of publications, is clear, good at the woman in the relations, or everything is quietly covered. And here when it is clear that the relations in a default – time to appear and begin to seduce anew. But it is necessary to remember that all this only through changes. If you haven’t changed and have started over again driving, just because she finished the relations “on a rebound” – won’t help.
If it is the serious relations, time works against you.
How to understand that the new relations seriously? The new man not strongly differs from you. You can be even similar something. And she hasn’t rushed in the new relations at once after parting. When you understand that it is your case, it is necessary to work is direct tomorrow. Time plays against you. Your competitor has a powerful advantage – novelty – a powerful factor of love. And you any more in mention have nothing of that kind so your chances are initially not equal. You think to play on old merits? Won’t leave. As soon as she has left, the counter was nullified. All investments and value of the relations vanish. What at all not to do: to ask her to return and blacken the new man. The first moment, in general, the iron rule after parting, and the second will only add fuel in her feelings to another. When the loved one is watered with slops, healthy reaction to protect him and to bring down just anger on an aggressor.
Now what well to make: it is possible to arrange an intrigue in which he will badly prove to be. The main thing that not you have told her what he is a rascal, and she has seen. For example, hasn’t helped at a difficult moment, has changed, has betrayed. Something powerful has to occur. And that not the fact that will be disappointed, especially when the love is fresh. Actually, I speak to the clients at once if it is not “rebound” – look for another or wait for few years. But this madness – to lose years to correct an error and that without any guarantee for the relations.
Reveal and correct misses until the girl has left you
There is a boundary situation when it seems and to the new man it begins to give advance payments, but also you were finally pushed away. Here it is necessary to work resolutely. Urgently check jambs for 4 reasons of parting (requirement, expectations, interest, balance of the importance) and correct. In this case, she will prefer you. But if she has managed to break off your relations – a ball on his party. Means, time of urgent and global changes has come. Make the development plan and begin to embody right there. Look at yourself through a prism of her relation: that it was pleasant to her that irritated where you have missed a chance and in what you can outdo the rival. Also be improved on all these fronts.
When the girl goes to anywhere, first rule – not to communicate. Calculation on the fact that she will begin to miss. When at us it was formed “васёк”, it is necessary to meet under any pretext – though drag bags though bring before work. When there is a communication, there is also an opportunity to show changes. Only on concrete examples, without bla-bla-bla about imaginations on ideal. Tell about situations in which you have abruptly proved. There was a bug with reliability – tell how it has made something conceived long ago. If bored – make laugh her. Was jealous and controlled – don’t press. It is important to understand in what there was a trouble and to show that all now differently. In parallel, though it also hard is given, it is necessary to communicate, meet, go out on dates with other girls. At least once in a week. Optional to sleep with them, just acquire skills of a seducing. Consider it practice before responsible examination. You should outdo the competitor? So you have to appear before her the guru of a seducing.
Don’t go too far in manipulations
There are some more effective ways, but by them it is necessary to be able to use and do it extremely accurately. The first manipulation – can sometimes help a game on sense of guilt, especially, if there are general children. But wine – thin matter: if hasn’t worked at once, all attempts to shame and appeal to a debt should be stopped right there, otherwise you will cause a stream of negative emotions, and the girl will be freeze finally. The second moment for pumped over – it is necessary to talk to the girl about her man so that to understand what in him doesn’t suit the girl and where the gap in their relations is planned. But very it is careful – look, don’t slide in open accidents of running-down the rival or in KGB interrogation. Most likely, he has defects, and the girl casually will mention them. Then show qualities opposite to his weaknesses. She will estimate it. If he for her an ideal – you has lost. Reconcile and don’t waste energy. In the world there are many spheres (and hemispheres), more worthy your attention.
Thank you for your attention. Have a good time!